a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
