you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
