At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
