I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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