man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
