Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
this hospital has no fireball
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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