You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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