is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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