He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
