Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
