they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
