Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
