Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'

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(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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(409): View more from Texas

First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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(517): View more from Michigan

you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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(303): View more from Colorado

They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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(231): View more from Michigan

if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death

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(517): View more from Michigan

it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really

(1-517): View more from Michigan

...i feel like you have a lot of those.

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