Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
