my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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