i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
