Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
