very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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