So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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