You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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