Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
