I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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