I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
