Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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