I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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