About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
