whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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