So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Someone shattered a urinal.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize