The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
