how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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