one might say we're banned from that church
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
