Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
