Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
