His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
