i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
