Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize