Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
