The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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