What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
