Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
