He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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