WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
