it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
