Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
