How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
