We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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