Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
