I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
