And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
