Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
