you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize