Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
