I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize