we have pet lesbian snakes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
