I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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