Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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