We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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