OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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