i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
operation harelip BJ is a go
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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